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I see no one has introduced themselves hhere and there are no posts anyplace. Any special reason why??? I wanted to introduce myself to everyone but there is no one to interact ith. So I'll start

I am single, female, old and living with my mother. No wait, my mother is living with me! This living arrangement is ok I guess, but sometimes I feel like an under paid and over worked "sinceyouis". My mom's new word for me.

We've been living together since 2007 and the arrangement was great when this adventure started. I was to do all the hard work--laundry, cleaning, shopping and mom was going to cook. Hey, I don't cook. If the good lord had wanted me to cook, he would not have invented resturants! But back to my story.

Mom tripped, broke her femur and I got screwed cuz now she can't stand for long periods of time anymore--tada---no cooking. But the laugh is on her, cuz I mean I CAN NOT COOK. This poor old lady has to eat my cooking, if you can call it that. I must admit I am getting a little better, but that is not saying much.

I love cats and was a shelter/foster home for a local cat rescue group for a long time. I to give it up when mom moved in. Just not enough time for both jobs. I'm sad. I miss the little kittens. Especially the newborn orphan bottle babies. they were too cool to watch grow and learn and especially to play with.

Guess that's all for now. here's hoping someone else joins in this section

Hello hercules3of4,

Welcome to the iCare forum! Thank you for your introduction.
That is very nice to get to know you. I know it's not easy to be the first person to jump in. You did great!

I want to encourage other people to join/ write in the forum.
Caregiving can be very lonely without interaction/ support from others. This is a safe space to share your feelings and concerns. Let's support each others. You do not have to go through this journey alone

iCare team

What a nice surprise to wake up this morning and discover that there is actually someone else is on this forum.

Mio, nice to meet you. How is your day going for you? I just woke up so I have no news to report..

Here is wishing you are good day

HA HA!!

I guess I'm next!
stands smooths pant legs and wipes nervous sweat from palms.

Hi, I'm Kathy.
I'm a 48 yr old wife married almost 30 yrs to my 74 yr old (yep) husband who was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2007.
I am his full time caregiver.
I'm still learning my way around this site and so far so good.
I too was glad to see 'life' in it

Well, Hello Kathy!

Almost looks like we are the only 2 people around this place. I don't know which would be more difficult. Caring for a parent, as I am or a spouse, as you are. Either way, it is rough. Never being to completely relax has me in it's grip. Oh the pleasure/treat of total relaxation.. No interuption..not hearing my name being called. Nice dream isn't it. of course, we love them and are grateful to have our lloved on in our life, but----------------------------------! Right?

I spend most of my time on the computer looking for medical devises that just might make things easier for me and mom, but mostly me. We live in Fla and with the threat of evacuation/hurricanes in my future I see a lot of loading and lifting in my near future. That is the difficult part. Mom had polio so walking is the issues. Wheelchair, walker, bedside commode just to name a few of the things I lift. At 64 with a bad back----leaving home is a chore to say the least and not one I am looking forward to doing any time soon.

Guess that is all for now. Let's heaar it for Venting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, nice to see people on this site, I had first checked it out a few days ago, whoops, no that was a week ago. But have not had time to go back until now. I, like Kathy, am married to an older guy, he's 75, I'm 58. We've been together for 20 years, he was diagnosed with early onset frontal temporal dementia 13 years ago. The good thing (haha, funny what we find good in all this) is that the disease has been creeping slowly until this past couple of years. And now it's progressing rather quickly.

The hardest part was the first stages when I missed my bud.
Then the middle part when my bud became my child.
And now it's hard trying to figure it all out, like trying to hit a moving target. Just when you think maybe you have a handle on it, it changes again. Last year I tried to eat, drink and spend my way through finding a balance. Haha, That didn't work so well.

We have 7 kids together, 4 are mine, 3 are his. The youngest is 23. I am now mom to all of them, unfortunately none of them live nearby. We live in a small coastal town in Ca. that the kids all find boring, and I find wonderful. I'm an RN, but haven't worked since we married. I now consider myself retired.

I have been very active in community, genealogy, quilting, politics, kayaking, but dropped off all the activities this past 6 months until I could get a better handle on our lives. I was trying to keep busy and active but my life wasn't exactly working that way either. I was becoming impatient and cranky and not liking myself much.

Patience comes a lot easier when my goal is to get through the day with us both dressed, showered, fed and up to date on how the kids are, etc. Daily stuff. Kind of lonely to tell you the truth, but at least I feel better about where I am and can take the time to plant some flowers, or make nice meals and still be pretty loving to my husband. Kind of like going back to ground.

I still belong to my chic's group and have a lot of support there. They take turns taking my husband out to a movie now and then, and I have just recently hired a woman to come in once a week on Monday's starting next week so I can do something like kayak or have coffee with a friend, that'll be really nice. Actually that will be great because sometimes I think I'm going to go nuts with all this patience.

I really think the issue of caring for someone who can't walk would be way hard. At least I can pack my husband up and drag him along through my day. Good thing he's so easy going. But caring for someone immobile would be tough.

I'm really glad to see the sense of humor on this site from both of you! I love it. It's the humor that gets us all through sometimes. So, good to meet you both.
Nanci

Well Welcome Nanci,

I think You, Kathy and Myself have our own little private corner of this world. GOOD! We can help keep eachother sane, maybe. I'm in Florida and thanking the good Lord for the winds and their affect on hurricane Irene. I'm not recovered from the last little evacuation we had due to the power outage.

Overloaded melt down occured for me over the past couple of days and it got ugly. I literally screamed into my pillow for several hours accompanied by an overload of hysterical crying. BUT! Seems that is what I needed. Stress release session.

I have no help. My sister lives in Michigan and my daughter lives in Alabama, mom's church has forgotten all about her, most of mom's friends are dead and since moving back to my home town I have no friends. I am literally afraid of people, suffer from agoraphobia, panic/anxiety, severe depression and ptsd. Thank God I was diagnoses years ago and on meds to keep me fairly level. But stress is the one thing I am suppose to keep out of my life because I don't handle it very well!!

. Mom is very proud and mentally together enough to know what is going on but still has a level of dementia that makes my life extremely difficult. So she still insists she is doing fine for her age. She has tryed several times to get me to go see my daughter without her and some "friend" will check in on her. NOT! She can not be left alone. She forgets to take her meds, she falls (due to polio as a child), forgets to eat and all the other things that go with dementia.

But I will say this "It Is Nice To Know You Are On The Other Side Of This Computer Screen Understanding How I Feel." P.S. Thanks for beig there

Jan

So, as I was driving back from the the base for a Dr. appt., and contemplating on how long it's been since I've been able to visit this site, I think I've come to the realization that although it's the caretakers who truly need the feedback and contact with others in this same predicament, it's the caretakers who don't have the time to spare, or the energy to spare. This could work. eventually. I guess it's about taking the time anyway. Not easy, but possible. All this to say, I have thought about the two of you, as I drive along, make dinner, do the laundry, etc etc etc. But I guess that doesn't help much, does it?

Jan, what are you doing to get time for you? With no help, are you able to get out at all by yourself? More and more I think this is important. Do you have friends who understand at all? Or a support group? Or someone who is also going through this you can share some coffee with occasionally? I think it's so helpful to find we aren't the only ones in the world who become frustrated with having to be so helpful and patient. Sometimes it isn't so easy and laughing about it or sharing it I find can really help.

This whole thing is not as easy as I thought it was going to be, not that I ever thought any of this would be easy, just not so frustrating.

Nanci

WOW! Nanci, thanks for asking how I am doing. Here's hoping you and yours are doing alright. I can't believe with all you have on your plate you would be thinking of me and wondering how I am doing. Trust me when I say you are truly blessed to have family. Just the moral support is worth its weight in gold.

Good timing. My day today will consist of a trip to Wally World for food, meds and weekend treats for mom. TaDa! There you have MY day, unless of course she will agree to go get some overdue blood work done. My other day out is to go back to Wally World for food, meds and maybe a little "window shopping" at may favorite thrift store.......Love looking for treasures.

So far, this system has worked out fine. Mom stays in bed with the phone nearby so she can call me, which she has. Thank goodness most of the time she stays in the bed watching TV til I get home. I bribe her like a child. "Be good, stay in bed and I'll bring you a treat." This works mainly because she loves to stay in bed and would stay in bed all day if I let her.

My only saving grace through this is my Agoraphobia, so I don't mind. In fact I prefer staying home. But, my depression and panic/anxiety disorder are causing some issues but I am making sure to take my meds faithfully and try to rest as much as possible.

I just don't know how you manage with a family and the responsibilities you have. I admire and marvel at caregivers who have families and jobs and everything tht goes with these things. I could not do it, but then I'm not well, so that does make a difference.

Here's wishing you an easy and peaceful weekend. Jan

WOW can't believe I've not checked in.
Now I wish there was a way to get e mail reminders that there was a post here.
There may be but I haven't found it yet.

YAY for venting! Poor pillows take a lot of abuse and it's a good thing the shower has a drain or I would drown sometimes.

Since getting away is very difficult with my limited time I spend a lot of time on line.
I frequent a few support groups to give as well as get support. If moral is the best I can get, I cherish it. I keep a ready supply of prayer warriors.

It is however nice when someone asks, "How are YOU?" Some days I get sick to death of talking about dementia and then I learned Caregiving seems to be the only thing I know to talk about LOL!

Wishing you both a wonderful peaceful day

OH look what I just found! a small little box to check for reply notification (embarrassed)